My rating: 4 of 5
Published April 14th 2014 by Harmony
Available on: Hardcover, Paperback, Kindle
What they say:
“Rejection Proof is a fun, thoughtful examination of how to overcome our fears and dare to live more boldly. You have no idea what you can achieve until you try!” —Nancy Duarte, bestselling author of Slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations
“Jia’s compelling and inspiring book is a wonderful example of how shifting our perspective can allow us to really see what makes us tick.” –Dan Ariely, Professor, Duke University, Author of Predictably Irrational
“Jia will help you break free of the one thing that’s probably held you back most: fear of rejection. His collection of incredible experiments in overcoming fear of rejection will inspire you while it makes you laugh.” — Andrew Warner, founder Mixergy
What I have to say:
Have you ever heard of or seen the video of the guy and the Krispy Kreme Olympic donuts (circa 2012)? If you did then you are acquainted with Jia Jiang and his journey against rejection. If you, like me, had/have no idea of what I’m talking about, then I recommend you to read this book.
Before getting into my thoughts on the book, if you follow my reviews you know I always
ramble have something to say about the cover. I like this book’s cover. It is simple and straight to the point. The use of the umbrella as a rejection proof object is great in my opinion.
My first thought would’ve been a shield but it wouldn’t have illustrated the concept as well as the umbrella. A shield is something you can’t always carry, not everyone can get it and it implies something heavy that would in the end be a burden. An umbrella on the other hand, is an almost weightless object that does its job. And it is something we only carry as needed. Yes we face rejection in life, but we don’t face it everyday, so the umbrella is a perfect tool to use in case of rejection. Also, if you think about it, in the end, rejection is not that big of a deal to use a powerful shield. It is something we can overcome if we only try and use the right tools to protect us against it. This book is our umbrella.
Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang is the author’s recount of how he beat the fear of rejection through a series of self-imposed challenges during a 100 day period. After quitting his job, Jia started up a company of his own and when his dream didn’t go the way he had planned it, he had to choose between quitting and letting the feelings that come with failure rule his life or step back and reevaluate everything in order to find a new approach and make his dream come true.
He chose the second option. And for that he started an experiment in which he sought rejection for 100 days. Some days he found the rejection he expected but other days he found important and valuable life lessons that he carefully documented first on his blog and now on this book.
As Jia states in his book, we are born fearless. We were all little kids who didn’t fear asking for what we wanted. But as we grow up, we start mixing up our opinions and feelings, and we slowly make the fear of rejection take a life of its own in our minds.
Rejection and the fear of rejection is something we all face in our lives. Be it fearing not being chosen for a game or a play in school, not being accepted into a clique or a certain college, not getting the job or the raise or making the sale, etc., we must all face that fear at least once in our lives.
Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang is a good read. It is a great tool for anyone who wants to overcome the fear of rejection. It is a fast paced read that will boost your confidence and make you feel like you can do it. It is one of those books that one should read at least once in a lifetime.
There are many self-help books out there, some of which leave you more confused or make you feel like you wasted your time reading them because they don’t give you answers to your woes. Thankfully Rejection Proof is in the ranks of the self-help books that will help you. Remember that scene on Bridget Jones where she throws away books in order to update her feel good and powerful bookshelf? Well, Rejection Proof is a book I think we should all put and always keep on the “feel good and powerful” section of our bookshelf.
Rejection Proof is a book that will teach you many important life lessons. I want you to read the book but one of the most important ones is that this book will make you change your attitude towards rejection. It will make you rethink how you handle it. It will teach you how to ask for things or how to approach a goal. It will remind you that you don’t have to give up if you really want it. And it will teach you that once you beat the fear you will find the freedom you once lost to and handed in a silver plate to rejection.
Like I said, the book is a fast paced read. It has its funny moments but it also has well researched important helpful facts that add meaning to what you read. I found myself highlighting this book a lot, so if you’re like me, I know your highlighter will get a workout when reading this book.
As you get into the book, the author includes at the end of key chapters a list of the most valuable lessons you should get from each chapter. And at the end of the book, you will also find what he called The Rejection Toolbox, which is like a handbook with the key end of the chapter notes. To some it might seem repetitive. It did to me at first, but then you get it; it has to be this way because in order to understand the concept of rejection and how to make it not affect you negatively, you have to read it not once or twice but as much as you need. So this little handbook at the end is very helpful in my point of view.
Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang is a book for everyone. If you’re feeling insecure about anything in life, be it asking for a favor, trying to get a job or changing careers, selling something, starting your own business, blogging, finding funds for a charity, whatever, read this book. It will open your mind and give you ideas on how to face your fear, how to desensitize yourself against it and how to react to whatever the outcome may be. Also, if you are in a position in which you have to reject something or someone, read this book.
Rejection is inevitable in life. One way or another we will always face it. And it is completely normal to fear rejection. What you must always keep in mind is to never let the fear of being rejected paralyze you and keep you from living. It’s up to you. This book will help you learn how to achieve this and will pump up your optimism, after all, in Jia’s words:
…there is a possibility after rejection…rejection is not always the end of the story.
It is amazing how fast years fly by – and how big the gap can grow between your vision for yourself and the reality of your life.
The problem with insecurity is that you start feeling like everyone might reject you, even your closest loved ones.
I stopped caring so much whether I got a yes or a no. Which meant, I supposed, that I was starting to care a bit less about what other people thought about me. And it felt liberating.
…the pain of rejection is actually a chemical experience in your brain, it’s no surprise that we develop a visceral fear of rejection.
The way someone feels about me, or about a request I’m making, can be impacted by factors that have nothing to do with me.
…start taking emotion out of rejection.
Being patient and respectful when saying no is such a simple concept.
…the person rejecting me was making it clear that he was rejecting my request – not rejecting me as a person. It can be hard, once you’re rejected to separate the two.
Rejection is an experience that it is up to you to define. In other words, it means only what you choose it to mean.
The key is to withdraw yourself from the emotion as much as you can and approach your request more like a bold, creative experiment.
…when creativity actually happens, it is often met with rejection, because it frequently disrupts order and rules.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win – Mahatma Gandhi
The difference is attitude.
We should all have the knowledge that who we are is good enough to get a yes from ourselves.
Detachment shouldn’t necessarily be from your passion or your ideas, but it does help to detach yourself from the results and the possibility of rejection.
…adhere to the core of the rejection-proof principle to detach ourselves from the results while going all out with our effort.
If it doesn’t help, just buy them a box of donuts. That always helps.
After quoting Jia so much, I HAD 🙂 to quote Tracy:
Rejection is just an opinion, remember? It reflects them more than me, right?
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