What comes to your mind when you hear the word chivalry? Do you think of knights and distressed damsels locked in towers? I see in my mind the image of a strong, poised and confident man who treats women with respect and dignity.
I know there are many independent, self-sufficient women out there who think chivalry is over-rated. There are also women out there, like me, who believe that letting a man be chivalrous, letting him be a gentleman doesn’t mean you are a weak “lady in distress”. Wanting or allowing a man to be chivalrous doesn’t make him or you less of a person. On the contrary, it gives men the clear message that you are a woman of substance that wants and deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.
Chivalry is not rocket science. A chivalrous man doesn’t need superpowers or a heavy shiny armor. He doesn’t need to do extreme time consuming acts to be chivalrous. Chivalry is doing small and simple actions that have an immeasurable value in the eyes of a woman.
A chivalrous man in my eyes is:
- A man who opens and holds doors…swoon.
- A man who helps you get out of a car…swoon.
- A man who offers help to carry something heavy…swoon.
- A man who stands up when a woman enters or leaves a room…swoon.
- A man who helps a woman to be seated…swoon.
- A man who doesn’t think about giving up his seat in a crowded room/space for a woman, elderly person or simply someone who needs the seat more than him….swoon.
- A man who sends flowers not only on special occasions, and knows it doesn’t have to be an expensive out of this world arrangement…swoon
- A man who asks you on a date and sends you flowers on the day of your date with a note saying he’s looking forward to meet you later…..swoon (I’ll marry you!!!!!!!! )
- A man who walks you to your car, even if it is not in a dark and scary place…swoon.
- A man who if it’s too late at night, offers to walk or drive you home, or even follow you in his car to make sure you get home safe…swoon.
- A man who offers you his jacket…swoon.
- A man who shares and holds the umbrella and helps you go to a dry place when it’s raining…swoon.
- A man who “plays valet” and gets your car when there’s bad weather…swoon.
- A man who walks on the outside of the sidewalk (safety never goes out of style)…swoon.
- A man who introduces you with confidence, using your given name…swoon.
- A man who saves you from awkward situations (i.e. random creepy guys on public places), yes, just like in the movies….swoon.
- A man who says please, thank you and I’m sorry…swoon.
- A man who extends a firm handshake…swoon.
- A man who is always on time…swoon.
- A man who stays well groomed…swoon.
- A man who looks you in the eye when you are talking…swoon.
- A man who minds his table manners….swoon.
- A man who when the waiter comes, asks you if you want to order first…swoon.
- A man who is never rude or disrespectful to waiters, servants or anyone….swoon.
- A man who compliments you because he means it and not because he expects something in return…swoon.
- A man who keeps his word…swoon.
- A man who would rather have a face to face conversation and uses texts and social media only when it’s necessary…swoon.
- A man who likes the written word, as in letters and spontaneous notes…swoon.
- A man who listens, pays attention to details and remembers…swoon.
- A man who asks her mother’s and father’s blessing before proposing…swoon.
Are these things too difficult for a man to do? I don’t think so.
Chivalry must not die. It isn’t quite dead yet, because there are still some chivalrous men out there. But ladies, it is in our hands to make chivalry perpetual. We must not stay silent. It’s our job to let men know what we expect, either verbally, with little posts like this one, teaching our children, nephews, students, etc.
Chivalry will never go out of style. The concept might evolve according to time but being a gentleman is timeless. Chivalry defines a true mature gentleman, and this is what the world needs. I’d rather live in a world full of gentlemen than one full of men who don’t know how to show they care.