Yesterday, a lady at church asked us for a ride home. We have no problem giving people rides. BUT, it was a terrible rainy night, Mass had ended and we (mom and I) had to stay at the parish for a meeting. Yet, this lady, insisted in asking us to please take her home.
I got a feeling that it wasn’t ok to do it, but my mother said we could take her home and return to the parish and be a little late for the meeting. Mom asked me to go with her, since this lady lives in a semi-desolated zone, she didn’t want to drive alone in that area.
We go to the parking lot, it’s dark and raining. I can’t get in on the passenger side because of some plants on the side walk. I decide to wait for my mother to pull back the car so I can get in. I didn’t want to run the risk of the car door getting scratches on the paint because of the spines on the plants. Why? Because it is a new car. It was mom’s first day driving her new car. (Let me add that she drove her old car for 28 years, so you can understand why I had to be real careful of her new car.)
Mom pulls back and she doesn’t see a car parked behind her. She said she saw me standing there so she thought there was space there. Short story we hit the car.
I shamelessly did the most ridiculous thing, I channeled my inner Michelle Rodriguez in Fast and Furious and got in the car and yelled “go, go, go”. Mom didn’t channel her inner Michelle Rodriguez though and started driving like nothing had happened. The guards were closing the gates to stop us from getting out, but we got out of the parking lot while the electrical gates were starting to slowly close.
My conscience is killing me. I feel like we can no longer go to church. Even though the bump sounded like something was broken, our car didn’t suffer any damage, not even a scratch. So I’m shamefully praying that the other car, which by the way was bigger (I think we only bumped the tire rim), didn’t get a scratch either.
Why didn’t I go with my gut feeling? Why didn’t I just say no? I mean, we don’t give this lady rides every day. How does she get home every day? We could’ve said: “sorry, not tonight, we have a meeting” and let her figure out how to get home on her own like she does every single day. We were trying to be good Samaritans yet we ended up being sleazy runaways.
There has to be a balance between my conscience and my instincts. If someone thinks I’m a bad person for not doing something, it’s their opinion and it doesn’t have to affect me if I know in my heart that they are wrong. I won’t let anyone impose on me their impressions of what being a good __________ (fill in the blank, though in my case it would be “Samaritan”) is. There’s a time and place for everything. Thank you Amy Foster for reminding me that SAYING NO DOES NOT MAKE ME A BAD PERSON.