I swear I’m a lovely, adorable, awesome woman (and utterly humble I shall add LQTM 😀 ). The one whose cup is always half full. But every woman has the right to have her moments and this is one that must be gotten out of my system.
I know it’s definitely not the image I portray but I’m getting TIRED with CAPS LOCK of the fact that people think that only because I’m a single woman all I have in my brain is “marriage and kids”. And because they see me as a single woman they immediately think they have the right to give me advice on how to get married and how to raise kids.
Have I asked for any of that advice?
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate advice, that comes from a loved one in the precise moment when you need it, after you’ve asked for it. The kind of advice that lifts up your spirit and helps you move on and conquer whatever is on your shoulders at the moment.
But when random people, who think they know you start giving you advice on marriage and kids when you’re minding your own business, that gets annoying.
For example, this secretary at a doctor’s office was playing with a toddler. Well “playing” is an understatement. The little boy was bored out of his senses waiting for his grandma. I asked the secretary to get him one of the toys they have in the therapy room. She comes out with a puzzle. Instead of letting the boy happily play with the puzzle alone, she starts ordering him to give her specific puzzle pieces that she starts putting together on her desk. Patient and boy leave. I’m the only person left in the waiting room. I’m happily reading my book when she looks at me and says “That’s how you handle kids, you’d better learn for when your time comes.“
Another memorable was when I accompanied my mother to a gathering where this lady started telling funny anecdotes on her 50 years of marriage. We were all laughing hysterically and this random lady who thinks she knows my soul approaches me and says “See, it’s not all peachy, learn from her for when your time comes“.
You might say I’m exaggerating on getting annoyed with this but let me tell you, this is not the first, second, third, tenth, thirtieth time I’ve heard phrases being said to me that have the words “when your time comes”.
It is annoying to see that random people I’ve just met or people who I haven’t seen in 20 years and who think they know me just because they know my parents, approach me only to give advice on marriage and kids.
Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic and if the right man comes by of course I would love to get married and have kids, but people, there’s more on my mind than marriage and kids. Single women have a universe of things on their minds. Being a single woman doesn’t mean you’re a romance novel damsel in distress. There’s more to life than that.
Ok, I think I got this out of my system. Now you can all go back to your regular schedule. Thanks for reading.
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My sister was out with my parents at the county fair a few years ago. She was probably 32 at the time. They ran into some friends of the family who asked my sister if she had a boyfriend yet. After replying that she did not, one of my parents’ friend’s went on to tell her that she doesn’t need a guy to have kids, she should look into invitro! Really? Your post reminds me of that encounter. I totally get it.
I don’t feel alone in this world anymore!!