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No, this is not about the TV show.

This one will get personal.

Sushi, wine and a movie. That has been part of my routine for the past couple of Saturdays.

One DayDexter and Emma…one of my Saturday movies was One day. I am one of those people who can’t hate Anne Hathaway. She’s just got something about her that you can’t hate her. She’s lovely in One day. Yes, her accent sort of sucks, but her performance at least for me is totally relatable. Even if some critics hate the movie, the story is good…I loved it. If it’s an impossible love story I’m there. Dexter and Emma’s love stood the test of time. Even her death couldn’t do them apart. Who doesn’t dream of a love like that?

Something BorrowedDexter and Rachel…Something borrowed was the other movie.  Even though this movie is not all about Kate Hudson’s character, I must say the she is another one of those actresses that you can’t hate. You see her and you want to be her best friend. Anyway, Dexter and Rachel’s story was another love story that stood the test of time. I ask again, who doesn’t dream of a love like that?

In both movies the couple meets, they become friends, best friends. And it takes them years to finally make things happen so they can be together, with no strings attached to the past, free of guilt.

What I love about both movies is the fact that they focus a lot on what the guy feels. Both Dexters have to fight a battle between what they’re supposed to do and what they want to do. Of  course they’re movies and they finally do what they want to do. Yes, feelings get hurt in the process but they have to do what they have to do for happiness. That is what makes them live a fulfilled life.

I have my Dexter. I found him almost a year ago. It’s amazing, because we’ve had people in common all through the years, yet we had never met before. Ever since he came into my life, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions.

He is an intense person. He makes me smile. He unnerves me. He scares the blank out of me in the sense that I can see all his defects and I don’t care. When I’m with him I feel like I can tell him anything but at the same time I don’t want to tell him anything because I’m scared that I trust him that much in such a short time. He can see right through me and that scares me too, so I’ve built a wall around me…a wall made of glass. HA!

No, we don’t have a romantic relationship. We are friends…sort of. I say sort of, because my Dexter comes and goes like the ocean tides. We keep in touch and we lose contact over and over. When the tide is high, he is adorable, he makes me feel special, he says the sweetest things about me, he shares stuff with me…I’m his secret keeper. But then the tide goes down and he totally disappears from the map.

Ocean Waves

Up and down like the ocean tide

My friends don’t understand why I even keep talking to him. But that’s the kind of person I am. The kind of friend I am. Even if I lose contact with my peeps for years, when we get together again, our friendship, at least on my side stays intact. It’s like I come with an incorporated pause button for friendship. 😉

The problem with my Dexter and I is the timing. My Dexter already has lived his life with ups and lows. He already had made up his mind and had chosen what he wanted his life to look like in the long run, until I came along. He sometimes makes me feel like he doesn’t know what to do with me but doesn’t want to let go so the tide doesn’t take me away.
On the other hand, I can’t say that I’ve lived everything I want to live before settling down but just simply can’t stop thinking about the fact that if he wanted, I could happily settle down with my Dexter.

I am Emma. I am Rachel. I am that woman who wants to be in love with Dexter and can’t bring herself to tell him. I am that woman who knows he knows but will not do anything more. I am a woman who will not stop living her life, but while she’s at it, a tiny piece of her heart will be hanging on to hope and the dream of a love that could stand the test of time. After all, there’s more time than anything in this life…hopeless romantic.

How did I become that woman? I mean, me? Miss Independent! Miss “I don’t beg, and never to a guy”! Miss “Man I feel like a woman”! Why am I this woman who turns into a pre-adolescent shy little girl when his eyes look into my eyes?

While I find the answers for my whys there’s one thing I know for sure:

For mental health NO CHICK FLICK for next Saturday! ha ha ha


p.s. Cheers to all my fellow Rachels and Emmas out there! 🙂


Image source 1, 2, 3